Discards: Commencement
by picascribit
Summary: SEQUEL TO DISCARDS, non-Magic AU: Remus is finally graduating from college, and Sirius could not be prouder, or more nervous about their future together. Trans!Sirius, fluff. To be edited and podficced at a later date.


_Commencement - n.  
_ _1\. A graduation ceremony, from a school, college, or university.  
_ _2\. The day when degrees are conferred by colleges and universities upon students and others.  
_ _3\. The first existence of anything; act or fact of commencing; rise; origin; beginning; start._

* * *

"Sorry I'm late," said Lily. "Everything seems to take twice as long as usual these days, and then of course I couldn't find anywhere to park."

Sirius gave her a quick hug. "I'm just glad you managed to find me."

As they joined the river of people heading toward the entrance to Husky Stadium, Sirius handed Lily her ticket.

"I want to find a bathroom before we sit down," said Lily, accepting an embossed program from an attendant at the entrance. "Remus told me this thing is going to be three hours long. Can you believe it?"

Sirius flipped through his own program to the long list of names, printed in a tiny font, and glanced around at the throng of jubilant people, decked out in purple and gold, streaming into the stadium. "I'm actually surprised it's not longer. I can't believe they don't split them up into different days."

Lily laughed. "My poor bladder would thank them, if they did."

Sirius waited outside the restrooms, fidgeting with the program, searching for Remus's name, to distract him and calm his nerves. When Lily reappeared, looking refreshed, he flashed her a smile and offered her his arm. He took extra care to make sure no one jostled her, as he escorted her to their seats, on the shady side of the stadium.

Sirius frowned. "Are you going to be warm enough?"

"It's _June_ , Sirius. I'll be fine. I'd rather be in the shade than spend the next three hours sitting in the sun."

"Sorry," said Sirius sheepishly. "It's just that James would murder me if anything happened to you."

Lily rolled her eyes. "What's going to happen to me?" She spread her arms. "Look at me. I'm the picture of health."

Sirius had to admit she looked radiant. "Sorry," he said again. "I guess I just needed something else to worry about today, to keep my mind off ... you know."

Lily grinned. "I know; today's the big day, huh?"

"Yeah. Huge day." Sirius's stomach clenched with nerves.

"I'm so happy, I could burst!"

Sirius gave a bark of laughter. "Well, don't do that yet. You still have another, what? Seven? Eight weeks to go?"

Lily rested a hand on the curve of her belly, tight and round under her yellow flowery sundress. "End of July. To be honest, I can hardly wait. I'm so ready for it to be over. Did I tell you about the lady from my pregnancy group who was on her sixth? Molly, her name was." She shook her head. "I can't imagine doing this six times."

"Well, you're braver than me," said Sirius. "I can't imagine doing it once."

He had had his tubes tied two years before, not long after his top surgery, and while a hysterectomy was on his wishlist, he had not gotten around to it yet. Having children of his own someday was still technically a possibility - but it was a possibility he and Remus had yet to discuss.

Sirius wiped sweaty palms on his fluffy denim skirt, pushing the thought away. _One thing at a time, Black,_ he told himself firmly.

Lily caught his expression, and smiled sympathetically. "It's not for everyone," she said. "And I'm sure Remus would totally understand, if it's not for you. You'll both have plenty of baby time, as uncles to this little one, when it comes."

"I know." Sirius was worried about that, too. He had not spent much time around babies. They seemed fragile, and he had a tendency to drop things when he was nervous. "So, have you two settled on names yet?"

Lily nodded. "Rose, for my mom, or Harry, for my dad."

Sirius grinned. "You must've won a bet."

"You know I did," laughed Lily, patting her belly. "But James gets to name the next one."

Down on the field, the brass band which had been warming up began to play. First the university faculty, and then the graduating students, processed down the aisle and into their seats.

"Do you see him?" asked Sirius anxiously, craning half out of his own seat.

Lily consulted the Commencement program. "I found his name on the list, but I don't see a seating chart anywhere. Wow, there are a lot of B.A. grads."

"Yeah. They have white tassels on their caps," Sirius remembered, "and I gave Remus a rainbow heart sticker to put on his, too, to make him easier to spot."

"There he is! D'you see him? Towards the back?" Lily leaned closer to Sirius, pointing.

It took Sirius a moment to pick out the rainbow speck in the sea of black caps, gowns, and identifying markers Remus's fellow graduates had added to make themselves visible to their own friends and family. When he finally caught sight of him, Sirius's heart swelled with pride. Remus was graduating. He had made it.

He had survived rejection by his family, years of homelessness, poverty, violence, and a host of other things that could easily have ground him down. He had gritted his teeth and fought every step of the way. Sirius had helped when he could, but it was Remus's journey; Remus had done the work. And now, at long last, all of his sacrifice and effort had paid off, and Sirius was here to see it. The hardest part was over now. The future looked bright.

As the president of the University of Washington stepped to the mic, and began to speak about achievement and overcoming hardship, a lump formed in Sirius's throat, and his vision blurred. Beside him, Lily sniffled. Sirius glanced over to see her dabbing her eyes with a tissue.

"Sorry," she murmured, smiling sheepishly. "Pregnancy hormones. I tend to get emotional at the slightest provocation these days."

"It's not just you," Sirius assured her, dashing away an escaping tear with the back of his hand.

Lily offered him a tissue from her purse, which Sirius gratefully accepted, wiping his eyes and blowing his nose as quietly as he could manage. As he settled back in his seat, Lily squeezed his hand, and they shared a look, acknowledging the magnitude of the day.

Significant though it was, the commencement ceremony seemed to drag after a while, with speaker after speaker, and the awarding of degrees to people other than Remus. Twice, Lily excused herself to visit the restroom, leaving Sirius to fidget in his seat, rolling and unrolling his program, anxiety wrapping itself around his belly once more.

Finally, the moment arrived.

"Candidates from the College of Arts and Sciences will please rise."

Applause and shouts echoed around the stands as Remus, and a sea of other graduates, rose. Sirius grabbed Lily's hand, sitting forward in his seat, breathless with anticipation. She squeezed his fingers tightly, and did not let go.

"It is my honor to present these candidates for the degrees of Bachelor of Arts, Bachelor of Fine Arts, Bachelor of Design, Bachelor of Music, and Bachelor of Science, and to recommend that they be awarded their respective degrees."

The crowd of gathered family and friends went wild with cheers. Sirius wiped his eyes again on the soggy, crumpled tissue in his fist.

"Candidates will please be seated."

And then the ceremony carried on, as the next group of graduates were invited to stand for their degrees.

"What? That's it?" Lily frowned.

"Yeah. I guess it's the best they can do, with so many of them," said Sirius.

He had attended James's graduation three years before, and had been surprised, too, by the anticlimax of it. Lily had been forced to miss that occasion, because of her mother's failing health.

"Are you sorry you came, after all?" he asked.

"No," said Lily fiercely. "Remus deserves to have people here to see this, and to celebrate with him, after everything he's been through."

Sirius agreed. He would not have missed this for the world.

He and Lily watched as Remus hurried forward, one intent face amid row after row of graduates, accompanied by the joyous sound of the brass band, to receive his diploma. Then the band played out the faculty, and it was over.

Lily stood up to stretch, arching her back, her belly bulging alarmingly. "So ... where were you thinking of ...?"

"The climbing rock," Sirius said immediately.

He had planned it all out, performing reconnaissance and scoping out a suitable location the week before. It was a good spot. Grassy, with trees, near the shore of Lake Washington.

"Er - are you OK to walk that far?" he asked belatedly, eyeing Lily for signs of imminent collapse.

"I'll be fine," she assured him, grinning.

Sirius texted Remus, hands trembling, then he and Lily made their way out of the stadium, and into the June sunlight.

Sirius felt his phone buzz as they skirted the edge of the parking area, thronged with parents happily snapping pictures of new graduates, or trying to find their way through the chaos to their cars.

 _on my way,_ said the reply.

Sirius swallowed his nerves and hurried on.

At the climbing rock, he fidgeted, hands in his pockets.

"Does your phone have enough battery left?" he asked anxiously.

"Yes." Lily flashed the screen at him. "See? At least half a charge."

"What if he -?"

"It will be _fine_ ," Lily interrupted, taking his hands in hers. "Now, relax. Breathe."

Obediently, Sirius closed his eyes and inhaled, holding the breath for as long as he could.

"Not interrupting anything, am I?" teased a wry voice.

The breath escaped from Sirius's mouth in an audible puff as his eyes snapped open.

Remus stood in the sunlight, grinning at them, still wearing his cap and gown. Just seeing him there, smiling, flooded Sirius's chest with warmth.

"Hey," he said fondly.

"Hey you," Remus replied, smile softening.

Lily stepped in to hug Remus. "Congratulations, Mr. Bachelor of Arts in Psychology."

"Thanks. I told you there'd be nothing to see, and that it'd be long and boring," said Remus, returning the hug.

"So?" said Lily fiercely. "You think we'd miss this for anything?"

"Yeah, well ..." Remus looked embarrassed, but pleased at the same time.

He looked up, and his eyes drew Sirius to him.

"You look nice," said Remus, taking him by the hand and kissing him. "Is that a new skirt?"

"Yeah." He had wanted to dress up today, for Remus, and for the occasion. "You look great, too. Very ... academic. Almost respectable." He grinned. His nerves felt calmer. They always did, with Remus close enough to touch.

"What are we doing all the way out here?" Remus asked, looking around at the park and the nearby climbing rock. "Was this the nearest landmark that wasn't completely mobbed?"

Sirius's heart sped up again. "Oh, it was just ... um ..."

"It's a nice spot for some pictures," said Lily innocently, coming to his rescue.

Sirius flashed her a grateful look, and she winked at him.

"Why don't you two stand over by that big tree?" she continued. "And then, Sirius, you can get a picture of me and Remus."

They took several pictures each with Remus, as well as some selfies of the three of them together, grinning faces side by side.

As Remus flicked through the photos on his phone, Lily caught Sirius's eye. _Go on,_ she mouthed.

Sirius's mouth went dry as his eyes fixed on Remus, and he swallowed heavily, heart racing.

"Remus ..."

Remus looked up expectantly, slipping his phone back into the pocket of his gown. "What?"

Sirius stepped forward, taking Remus's hands in his. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lily watching them intently, her phone held in front of her, taking video of the scene. The moment had come. Sirius took a deep breath.

"I know how hard you've worked to get here today," he said. "I know what you've been through. I just wanted to say, I am so proud of you, and I'm honored that you've let me accompany you on your journey this far. I know you're going to do great things, and I want to be there to see it, when you do. I love you so much."

He had scribbled the words down feverishly on a scrap of paper at work, behind the library counter, two weeks before, reading them over and over again, until he had them memorized. Remus looked bemused and mildly entertained by this prepared speech. He did not understand what was happening yet.

"I got you something," Sirius continued.

Remus's expression changed to one of surprise. "You didn't have to get me anything."

"It's just - something small," said Sirius. "I knew you'd never get it for yourself."

He reached into his pocket, and took out a little box. Opening it with hands that shook, he presented it to Remus.

Inside the box was a class ring; gold, with Remus's birth stone glinting blue-green in the sunlight. His name, and the name of the university, framed the stone. A symbol of his psychology degree was inscribed on one shoulder, and on the other, the Latin phrase, _Ad astra per aspera_ : to the stars, through hardship.

"Oh," said Remus, staring at it.

"I-I wanted you to have this. But also ..."

Heart hammering, Sirius sank to one knee.

He realized immediately that he had made a mistake, because now the sun was behind Remus, and Sirius could not see his face.

Gazing up into that brightness, with a voice that shook, he said, "Remus Lupin, will you marry me?"

The world seemed to hold its breath along with Sirius, as Remus stood, still and silent. In the park around them, people were taking notice, breaking off their conversations, watching and waiting with curiosity to hear Remus's answer.

Sirius squinted into the sun. "Please say something."

"I-is this for real?" croaked Remus, stunned.

"Does it look like I'm joking?" babbled Sirius. "I just thought - commencement is about beginnings. Maybe this could be a symbol, not just of everything you've worked so hard for, but of us, beginning a new life together. If you want to. I mean, you can keep the ring, whatever you decide. It's yours. You've earned it. But I was hoping -"

Remus's fingers tightened on his, cutting him off. " _Yes_. Yes, of course I will. Get up, you jerk."

He pulled Sirius to his feet, hugging him fiercely.

Nearby, someone cheered. A few of their audience applauded and whistled. Lily, still holding the camera, beamed.

Sirius's hands shook as he tried to put the ring on Remus's finger. Laughing, Remus helped him. He was relieved to find that it fit. Remus's fingers were about the same size as his, but his knuckles were bonier. Impulsively, Sirius kissed those knuckles.

"I love you," he said fervently.

"I love you, too," murmured Remus.

His hand cupped Sirius's cheek, and he leaned in to kiss him.

Overwhelmed with emotion, tears sprang to Sirius's eyes. He had done it. He had asked Remus to marry him. And Remus had accepted. Whatever the future brought, they would face it together, hand in hand. Sirius did not think he had ever been happier.

Remus wiped a tear from Sirius's cheek with a thumb. "Shall we get out of here?"

Sirius nodded.

Lily was waiting for them, grinning. "I got the whole thing on video. I'll send it to you tonight."

Remus put his free arm around her shoulders. "You knew all about this, didn't you, you devious wench?"

"Yup," she said proudly. "It's about time someone made an honest man of you."

"What am I to do with the two of you?" laughed Remus, shaking his head.

"There's nothing you _can_ do," Lily assured him. "Might as well just give up and be happy."

Remus glanced at Sirius fondly. "I think maybe I can manage that."

They parted company at the corner of the parking area.

"I'll pass on the good news to James," said Lily. "He'll probably call you to offer his good wishes this evening."

Catching Remus's eye, Sirius thought that if James called any time before tomorrow, he would get Sirius's voicemail.

"Thanks for everything, Lily," he said sincerely. "You were great today."

"It was my pleasure. Congratulations, boys," she said, hugging them both, before hurrying off to find her car.

Sirius took Remus's hand once more, feeling the warm gold of the ring against his palm.

"You're sure? You're sure it's a 'yes'?" he asked hesitantly.

Remus grinned, and kissed him again. "C'mon. Let's go home, and I'll show you how much of a 'yes' it is."


End file.
